Shaping the rules (4) - Pizza

Back from a nice week in France, heading onto a week with just the two of us and the dogs in the no man's countryside (north-east). At home for a couple of days, to send the teens off to their own holidays.

Yesterday was review and evaluation day. There was mainly one topic on the table. 'Asking for permission to orgasm'. I can not elaborate much on this now, but it became clear that there was an underlying thought pattern that has started to devellop into a direction I don't want. The rule will most likely be suspended for some time as I will search for better balance and development into the desired direction.

My focus was not on the cumming, it was on the 'asking permission', the controll. Her focus was on the orgasm, how to prevent it, untill granted allowed. We have gotten some idea's on the table and will start to play with them, to see what could work.

There was one moment during the family holiday where the kids were out by themselves and we had a couple of hours to ourselves. I did pack tie wraps, a vibrating egg and a small leather flogger (rather stingy). She was bent over the back of the chair, hands locked to the front legs, her ass perking backwards. The egg purring away at her g-spot .. the flogger harshly reddening her skin. There were some yelps, some moans and a rough fuck and deep seeding.
Leaving her panting for 10 minutes, returning and forcing her to cum twice more before tucking her into the sheets for a cuddle-nap ... untill the loud voices of kids, bringing home pizza, and knocking the door woke us up again.

It felt like claiming her ... this past week, to me, clearly indicates I need this thing we do ...

Click on this link for the previous post: Shaping the rules (3)

Shaping the rules (3)

Yesterday it was the 29th, our monthly review and evaluation day. I like the ritual feeling of this day. In the end no rules or wishes changed. Some changes in the sub-check-list.

Generally lots of thoughts flow through my mind that try to reflect how I see the dynamic and all the aspects within our relationship.

Last time I changed the contract around. I split it in three parts.
1) The general contract defining how the dynamic is set up. Who is submissive, who is the Dominant which responsibilities there are, including things like this monthly review, safewords and the sub-check list. How emergencies can break the contract, all essential basics, but no behavioral descriptions.
2) The rules
3) The wishes of the Dominant

Within the 1st part is is also described how these relate to each other:

The contract goes above the rules
The rules go above the will of the submissive and Master
The will of the Master goes above the will of the submissive
The will of the submissive goes above the wishes of the Master
The wishes of the master are suggestions for the submissives behavior

This enabled me to make much more consise and clear rules, and provided much more structure.
Of course there are no rules that go against my will :)  And the cascading enables us to implement the aspect of her 'little (bratty) girl' side. This little must follow the rules, but can decide to not follow the wishes.

Learning how to integrate our own dynamic into our lives as we go along is an exciting experience !

Click on this link for the previous post: Shaping the rules (2)

Permission

The past few days I felt like focussing on her asshole. It has been fucked deep and hard, it has collected my cum several times. More then once I got very intense and saw tears rolling down her face. But she took the ass plundering like a good slut.

 

There was a bug though. She had cum twice without permission a couple of days ago, and allthough I understand those two were difficult to handle, I did not want to let it pass.

 

The rules are clear:

• In Masters presence you will ask for permission to cum.
• If Master orders you to cum, you will do so as fast and as hard as you can.

So subby was set on the edge of the bed and box-tied with soft pink rope. She was collared and nipple clamped and told to stand up. She was lectured shortly, looking down shyly. Then she was forced to cum three times, while her ass was paddled on two small area's. The bright red glow was magnificent.

 

 

Then she was unleashed, the chains pushed into her wet hole, her mouth gagged, and the magic wand was set upon her clit. Laying on her own arms for three additional orgasms. I zapped the chain out, sending droplets of her wetness flying through the air. I could see she was exhausted. There was no resistance anymore as I flipped her around and started to fuck the wet cunt from behind.

The legs and red asscheecks wobbling with my pace. 

 

The "thank you Master" as I seeded her deep inside, made me feel warm and fuzzy, and after untying her I pulled her into my arms to fall asleep.

 

Forgiven.

Shaping the rules (2)

Today is review day. The ritual involves several things that are closely linked to us as a couple. The days just before, already some of the talking starts. Mostly reflecting, but also confronting. Staying open, vulnerable and listening is difficult sometimes.

 

I know she loves me but I need to hear it and vise versa.

 

One thing hampering the D/s dynamic at times is the 'thought' that got stuck in subby's head long ago: submissive = worth-less.

 

I absolutely disagree. The submissive is most precious and of great value to Me, the Master. One can not exist without the other. Her submissiveness creates the room for my Dominance.

 

Rationally she knows, but somehow this thought pattern crept into her heart. Talking about it shows that within the dynamic she has trouble reconfirming her significance. She needs a time out at those moments, which confirms the misconception. We will have to find ways within the dynamic to nip this negative thought pattern in the bud. Discovering what actions trigger the emotions to pop up and deal with it before she drops.

 

 

 Click on this link for the previous post: Shaping the rules (1) 

 

Spider

It crept up on the wall. I didnt notice it at first, and once it was in full sight ... , I hate it when that happens.

I planned a relaxing evening, candles, dimmed lights. Messing a bit with her mind .. telling her to prepare as I threw the magic wand on the bed. Told her to lie face down. I started using the magic wand on her shoulders and neck. Using some light scented oil .. removing all the knots in her shouders. Then using my hands to rub her whole back ... Some more magic wand fun and then falling asleep.

Getting up early, walking the dogs and preparing a sweet breakfast for us. But as I was just finishing up, getting ready to bring everything upstairs, she rushed into the kitchen ???

Subby: "Going to the doctor with the daughter" I argued about the reasons and claimed it was not that urgent, but the appointment was set, etc etc ... So off she went.

I sat at the kitchen table, and ate the breakfast alone. Completely dissapointed, Pissed off. As they returned hours later, the spider had already gotten in plane sight.

image courtesy by macrophotoz.com

When subby told me "Master, I'm done with your mood. If you want to punish me, just to blow off steam, go ahead" I blocked. I put this thing we do on pause.

I am used to plans being just plans, Getting changed all the time, it is my work ... yet I am bad at handling change of plans when it concerns 'time for the two of us'. Being interupted at such times makes me growl. I just wanted to be nice to her ...

And she was right, it fouls my mood. But I dont want to beat her for it, even if she is willing to do/take that for me. I need to be in control before, not as a result.

I take two lessons away from this, that if the spider shoots across the wall again:

• I stay in control by bending along the disruption. i.e. "Allthough I think it is not wise to not first have breakfast, and the urgency is not appearant. You will go to the doctor with her now"
• To ease off my mood, and allow her submission to help me without using pain. I could try a different approach.Dominating her without impact i.e. Letting her fingerfuck herself and cum for me to watch; Have her insert a bad mood plug she can take out only when I am calm again; Tie her up.

Thanks for reading through. This post was on draft a while, changing it, tweaking it with growing insight. I try to refrain from publishing in emotion, that just doesn't work for me.

Any constructive feedback, comments or insights are welcome :)

Shaping the rules (1)

As the current set of rules is one month old, the first full review is planned for tomorrow.

When building them, discussing them and finalising them, on beforehand who knows if the total package will work ? I figured, even though I am perfectionist by nature, that there might be rules that have flaws or even worse .. in practise do no work out beneficially.

I laid out rules in several sections of submissive service and the role of myself, to see what makes Me, subby and us tick. Some things work fine others don't.Already for a few days some pre-discussions took place, I am curious and excited where tomorrows review will lead us.

We have had one scene, ended abruptly, by me. I could tell she panicked after I smacked her cunt in a moment where she didn't expect it. I demanded her to re-open her legs, but looking at her eyes I could tell she was not ok. On top of that we got disturbed by the kids, so aftercare was a bit lousy .. creating a sub-drop.

Some rules in the domestic service area seem to work fine, others don't .. still trying to figure out why, but I guess it was to far stretched to get it first time right, even for a perfectionist like Me ;)

Browsing for some 'good Dom' websites I came across the quote below at evilmonk,

"If thou dost ill, the joy fades, not the pains;
If well, the pain doth fade, the joy remains."
      - Benjamin Franklin

Keeping that in mind...