Drifting

The past weeks were full of talks and insights shared. The last rules review is going to evolute into the next one, due in two days.

The new "contract over rules over will over wishes" system needs more finetuning. The nature of the dynamic is shifting. Sexually she is submitting deeper, closer to her edge, while in the other area's she can be more bratty and playful.

We noticed that during long workdays, or travel, when I am away, the dynamic is stressed, and she has difficulty to stay focussed. Drifting off into the gardens of the castle, doubting her actions, doubting if she is a good submissive. I started to challenge her wearing ben-wa balls when I am not home. No enforced times, just wearing them and reporting to me how long she is able to keep them in. This creates layers of connection, anticipation, and lust. So far it is working well.

Comming home to my dripping wet needy cunt is a great welcome. And treating her like a fucktoy a great release. Making her wear her onesie backwards, spreading her legs, lifting her shackled wrists. Hearing her breathing heavily as the toys are inserted. Her moans and wriggling are useless. It is when the tears of submission flow that she drifts off to subspace ready to be fucked like a ragdoll.

Of Wolf and Man

Rules revision was skipped last week due to a busy schedule, but there is changes ahead. Sometimes you can feel that.

Our short trip together showed me I need to be Dominant, I need to plot out ways to jump her. Triggering her into submission. Beat her into it if must be.

Past weeks, with a lot less scene-interaction. I am watching her struggle, emotionally on edge.

I am changing the game. I make her do things she did not do before. Make her say things she would not say before. I use her for my pleasure.

Fuck her when she is very tired. In her tight ass when she does not expect it. Not cumming inside her as I did before, but splashing my cum onto her face, tits, legs, wherever.

It is all within the established boundaries, but I am wandering around. Mixing it up to catch her by surprise and dominate her by forcing her into awkward and humiliating scenes. Using little or no pain.

I am not sure yet, but it seems I am using humiliation to satisfy my sadism. And pain or the threat of pain, to enforce it.


I will need to research this ... cause the filthy, dirty, disgusting, kinky, dark ideas that are arising from this direction make me wonder what kind of animal I am ... *growl*

The wolf inside is rearing his head ...

Of Wolf and Man - Metallica

Just a couple of cents

My oh my, Just going to ramble some thoughts out there ...

My sub is not a pain-masochist.
For me the Sadism is not inflicting pain - per se.

I enjoy watching emotional struggle.

This can be by forcing her to write about something she dislikes, to force her to orgasm when she doesn't feel like it, to make her do things that she finds difficult. I enjoy her emotion when her face looks up at me and I can read from her eyes: "did he just seriously ask me to sniff up his cum from the floor ?"

I use pain/discomfort to guide her into doing it if she doubts to long or resists. To me the amount of pain she can take .. does not matter, I will continue to increase untill she does what I say. Her joy then does not come from the inflicted pain, but from the deep humiliation, the feeling of giving in and doing it ...

I told her to get on all fours, clamped her head between my thights and leaned over her, ripping her panties down .. encompassing and holding her forcefully, fingering her pussy ... when liquids began to flow abundantly, I released her head from between my legs.

"you wanna cum ?"
she nodded, "yes Master"
"then suck My cock and swallow it all, smear your face"

While the last spurt of cum was still gushing from my cock, I grabbed her head. Put it back between my tights. Bend over her back and grasped her ankles firmly ... touching her clit for 5 seconds ... then she erupted .. restrained by my legs and arms ...